Wednesday, April 15, 2009

All My Life I Struggled With My Weight

When I was growing up my parents didn’t have money for “extras”. I have three brothers and two sisters, so, I imagine that it wasn’t easy for them. I can remember that if we did go out to eat somewhere, it was a small vanilla cone (DQ) or a hamburger and fry (White Castle). We may have gotten two burgers I can’t recall that detail. The point that I am trying to make is that I always ate the same as my siblings, but around the age of six I started getting chubby. Out of six of us I was the only one. There are people out there in this world that are overweight that cannot help it. I believe that it is in our genes. I like to call them “fat genes”. I definitely have them. I have accepted the fact that I will always be a little on the chunky side. I got married at the age of 18 and weighed around 150 pounds. Seventeen years later my bliss came to an end and I weighed approximately 340 pounds. All those years in a bad marriage food had become my best friend. I don’t think that I realized how bad I had let myself get. It was like my eyes were opened after the split up. I knew that I had to do something. I knew that I had to change my life style. Not only had I let myself get huge, but I had absolutely no self esteem. All my life I had struggled with my weight. I tried many different diet plans without success. I wasn’t going to pay for someone to tell me what I already knew like I had done in the past. So, what I did was take all the information that I had required over the years and started applying it my way. I started watching my fat and cholesterol first. I wouldn’t go back for seconds any more and I didn’t eat fast food for the first six months. Monday through Friday was my work week at that time, so, on my days off I would cheat a little. I might have that candy bar that I was craving or that pizza. And I would eat 2-4 slices instead of 6-8. This was the first time I tried doing this. I had always denied myself when dieting. I learned that I cannot deny myself completely. I would be setting myself up for a total splurge and probably blow the whole thing. We all know that you have to get some kind of exercise. If you see an ad that says lose weight without exercise, look the other way. There is just no way around it. What I did was go out dancing on the weekends and just moved around as much as I could. Then I quit going out to clubs and so I started walking. I tried to walk an hour a day, five days a week. I didn’t say it was easy now. This is one of the hardest parts for me. After about six years I was down to 180 pounds. I felt better than I had in years and I could actually walk! One day I was walking into the grocery store and it hit me that when I was really big I wasn’t actually walking. I would more like waddle I guess. Present Time I lost my job almost a year ago and, because of how the job market is at the present time, I decided to make money on the internet just like so many others. Anyone who works on the internet, especially newbies like I was, knows all the time that it takes. I am still quite knew and learning new things every day. I spend almost every waking moment on my PC. I went through a pretty bad time of depression through the winter. We had a lot of snow this year and not much sunshine. I haven’t went out much and I have gained about 20 pounds. Now that the weather is getting warm I am starting my walking again. I did go one day all ready. I realize that I have to get with it again now that spring is here. I know that I can do it. Plus I have my first grandchild who will be one on the 23rd and lives down the street. I will be taking him for walks most definitely. Have a blessed day!
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